Stop for a moment

Beyond the hectic pace of life there lies a time in the day, I am sure its different for all of us where we get to catch our breath and rest. Even if only for a second or two we get a moment in time that belongs to us and not the world outside.

It is in this time that we can stand still and see the day for how it was, or how we want it to be. We can see ourselves for all we have achieve and what is left to be done. It is not a time to beat ourselves up, though I am sure a few of us do. It is simple a moment when we can rest.

Yet how many take the time to actually stop, before we falling into bed exhausted by the day; be it  happy, fast paced full of excitement, filled with mundane repetitive routines or surrounded by challenges and interruptions. How many of us STOP and catch our breath.

My child are taught to Stop, Breath, Think then Speak. Why because I want them to be aware of the moment in time when they can stop. I want them to know the power of their breath and how it can relax and refocus them. I want them to have the ability to think without chaos, I want them to speak with clarity so the world may understand them as they grow.

Have we adults lost the art of being able to stop. I believe we have and now we just collapse.  I run a meditation class and for me the beauty of it lays within the gentle snoring I hear.  I know at that moment even though they have now drifted off they have stopped and caught their breath.  We all laugh when we come out of our meditative state and finger-pointing takes over “who snored” …. “was that you?” No one is upset by it because everyone there got to stop and rest. They each gave back to themselves a moment in time they otherwise would have filled with stuff that could wait.

Adults need to teach our children its okay to stop, children now days don’t know the art of stopping long enough to wait. They want it all now now now now. And we indulge it because it easier than the screams and complaints that follow. But what if you asked them to stop and rest. To close their eyes and just focus on their breath. What if in that moment you stopped as well and watch as the world went by?

Sit back relax and stop for just a moment in time

 

Rolling stones and gathered moss

What is the saying  A rolling stone gathers no moss. 

This may be true but let it roll long enough and far enough eventually it hits a place and looses momentum then what. The moss begins to grow, the question is how long that stone stays there covered in moss before an event allows it to gain momentum again. The thunderstorm that brings sweeping rain shifting the stone from its resting place. The wild and wooly winds that bring down a tree branch that swings like a club catapulting the stone back into motion. The  bush walker who ponders and thinks about life while picking up the stone , perhaps to toss it away later on down the track.

And is gathering some moss really all that bad, a time to rest and be covered in lush green warmth, a bit like having a doona day I think!

The mind can be that rolling stone forever in motion never taking the time to stop. As we go through our daily lives we think, analyse, critic, chastise and repeat the mundane over and over again always moving in perpetual motion. Even our dreams have a our mind moving and thinking. And then the speed bump throws a little curve ball that help it come to a rest even if only for a short time. Trouble is some of us are so stuck in the motion of movement and thinking we don’t know how to stop and rest. We miss the sign that tells us to slow down and feel compelled to push through no matter what the cost of our mind, body, soul.

Gathering moss is not a bad thing, and taking time out is not a bad thing. The problem arises when we are the person who wont see the signs, we keep pushing forward. When we dont allow this natually resting state to happen our mind yells ENOUGH and finally stops! Sadly this happens way to often in today’s world. Why? Simply because we don’t allow ourselves to have a break. I have friends who are forced to take vacation time because they accumalted so much of it up at work…. they never stop. I have other friends who do so much for so many that they neglect themselves. Others yet just feel that they can not stop until they reach the end goal to which I ask “is that death? because you aint living right now.”

A friend once worked for a company that allowed 4 doona days a year, and that was on top of the annual sick level entitlement. Yes her job was stressful she dealt with people who could be abrasive; so they company took the step the value the employe and gave them the extra days. Lets face it we all would like a day were we didn’t have  to be a slave to the alarm clock and could just close the world away and lay in bed, or on the lounge and just rest.

So can we actually rest without having to take a whole day, without needing to get to state of forced STOP.

Yes we can, we just need to make the time for ourselves. We need to set aside 10 minuets in the day and allow it to be our time, some people now will say I don’t have 10 minutes, yes you do ….. more than likely that 10 minuets is given to some other task right now that does not serve you well. Think about it there is a spare 10 in those 1440 minuets that make up each day.

So what to do during those 10 minuets. REST bring the mind to a place of rest.

Sit in a place that you wont be interrupted. (set a timer if you need to, or pick out soft music that goes for 10 minuets )

Allow you mind to clear of all thoughts, listen to the sound of your breath.

Focus on your breath and then repeat in your mind the words ‘I am’

Dont add anything to these words just the words ‘I am’. As you repeat them over an over you allow the mind to become still.

Once your ten minuets is up allow yourself to be fully awake and in the present moment. Drink some water and get moving again. Your mind is ready for you to keep going forward, its ready for motion once again.

That small 10 minuets each day will allow your mind to become more resilient and resourceful when you need it most. Instead of coming to breaking point your mind will have tools it can now use to help in situation that arise. While a doona day every now and then may still be on the cards, these will days where you enjoy the comfort of your bed and not be retreating to it to hide from the world.

Life is for living and sometime living, means standing still and gathering moss. The moss is the rest and clarity we need to move forward, it’s just we miss the rest stop most of the time and push through.

Calm without fear

Saturday morning and there is a sense of calm in our house. Everything is still up in the air after last weeks news of job loss and no income, a lot of things seem like they are so much further out of reach then they did before and uncertainty about the future still runs strong, yet there is calm.

There is calm because we choose it to be, there is calm because I choose not to function in fear. Fear grabbed hold on Thursday and Friday and I am sure it will grab hold again and again, yet I will choose how I deal with it and I will choose to send it away. I have always loved this particular saying about fear:

Fear knocked at the door, Fear answered the door, and Fear went away.

My home is for me my sanctuary, it where I feel comfortable, protected, loved. So my home has no place for fear to reside within it. Fear is the biggest killer of our hopes and dreams, it eats away at the soul-destroying it if allowed. I wont allow it to eat away at mine. While many of these dreams seem like they have been placed in a holding pattern for the present time they are still there and they are still achievable. They may take a little more work, a little more tenacity to achieve, but they will be achieved. The beauty is that these dreams while in a holding pattern actually allow me to review them, they allow me to see them more clearly. Some may no longer be needed in my life, and some fuel stellar determination pushing me towards success.

If we allow fear to circle this holding pattern of dreams, as it does for so many of us, it throws life into chaos, yet it need not be that way. I choose that fear can be my friend, fear can show me when something truly is not right, like the person you meet who you just know to stay away from, when walking home late at night fear helps heighten the senses allowing us to make the trip safely. Yet fear for the sake of holding me back and turning my thoughts upside down is not my friend.

So how do I get rid of it and bring about the calm

• meditation, this can be sitting quietly or walking in nature for me it brings clarity.
• staying hydrated, sounds silly but the body needs to function correctly so that your mind is clear.
• I wash negative and fearful thoughts away, I imagine fear going down the drain while I am in the shower, or washing my hands.
• reading, take some time and read something inspirational, uplifting and heart warming.
• laughter, learn to laugh and laugh often, fear hates laughter so laugh at it.
• face it, a fear you hid or push out of site is still a fear that is allowed to reside in your mind, slowly eating away at it.
• Surround yourself with the people you love, friends and family.

Fear is not a place I wish to live my life and so allowing it in for two days this week was not a pleasant experience, however once I faced it I was able to see clearly what had cause the fear and I am able to work on that and move past it. Allowing for a place of calm even while surrounded by uncertainty.

Don’t wake me before coffee

There is a promotional ad for a TV show, ‘Through the wormhole’ on TV at the moment and in it a crew member ask Morgan Freeman ‘when does life begin?’ Morgan answers ‘as soon as I have had my morning coffee’.  My children say that’s me….. They say that life doesn’t begin in our house till mum has her morning coffee and they are right.

It’s a small ritual but one that I cherish every day to be able to sit in silence and enjoy the waking moment of life in our house. I love early mornings, the peace and quiet before the world stirs with its noise and bustle that breaks the silence, pushing us all forward into the hectic pace of life. So I sit each morning, coffee in hand and just take in the stillness, it’s my favourite time of the day.

My ritual morning coffee is my morning meditation, it is my time to zone into the day and what I wish to achieve and most importantly to set the tone of my day. If I am disturbed during that time, the tone may very well change from happy too annoyed; need a second coffee on days like this!

My 7-year-old is usually the first one to come find me each morning, waiting until the coffee is finished of course. He breaks this time of stillness and I am always grateful that he does, because when he does he gives me a huge cuddle and he tells me he loves me …. Then he asks for food, he will be a master manipulator creating great business deals one day I am sure with his smooth tactics.

Then life begins in our house we get through breakfast and move forward in our day, the hectic pace of life once again intrudes as we carry out all we need to do that day. When it gets too hectic and my world feels out of balance, polluted with crazy time schedules, screaming children, unfinished obligations and interruptions; I stop and remember my thoughts of the morning and I bring myself back to centre. In that moment of peace I know that life is short and one needs to cherish each crazy hectic moment of it.

…. And so the day goes on and my morning ritual reminds me to enjoy it no matter what the day brings my way.