Tag Archives: happiness

Always look on the bright side of life

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brighterlifeWhile out with a friend of mine today she mentioned how my posts on social media have been positive, no negativity at all. I replied yep can’t be bothered to share negativity. I explained that yes I have bad moments in the day it’s not happy smily 24/7. Yet really is Facebook  or other media areas the place to air the dirty laundry and she agreed it’s not. She herself is not one to put negativity out there into the world of social media.

To me and to many others who just don’t say it Facebook and other social medial outlets are not the place to air your daily dummy-spits or let off steam about small things like breaking a nail. I am not saying don’t let of a little steam now and then, by all means post away. For some, there is some great advice given.  I am talking more about the posts that are a perpetual cycle of “my life sux!” it  just becomes BORING especially if you don’t actively participate in making changes for the better. I actually am not that interested in what happened in your day. I know that’s harsh, and before you complain hear me out.

 

  1. You have had a bad day….. so has the rest of the world at some stage, I don’t want to hear about it …..instead tell me what went RIGHT!
  2. You can’t buy the dress/perfume/bag/tv whatever you want……………… be thankful you can buy food.
  3. You are having a fight……………….be thankful you have voice ……………and chose to walk away from relationships that don’t work.
  4. You are not happy with your weight………………. be thankful you have the power to change it.
  5. You are not happy with your job …………….be thankful you can change that.
  6. You are not happy with the world in general………….. look harder there is a reason to be thankful you just glanced over it or chose to ignore it.

I teach my children to tell me what they are thankful for each day. They wake and love the day they are entering into. Yes they have bad days we all do, yet at the end of the day I ask them what has made them happy today. Most times my 7 years old replies “you mummy, and daddy and the whole family”. Master 11 who is a little more wise to the hurt that can be found in the world will start with telling me what went wrong. I don’t shut him down for this I simply ask ok …… “tell me what went right for you today?” and yes something always goes right no matter how bad the day.

Am I saying you wont have really bad dark days? NO! hell no we have all had them. The difference is in how we chose to share these days and little hiccups in your day don’t need to make social media headlines. Have I posted stuff that I later regret yes, show me someone who hasn’t, but we can choose to make a more conscious effort this think before we write or speak.

so to end I want to share a motto for life with you all.

 

 

Rolling stones and gathered moss

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What is the saying  A rolling stone gathers no mossmindfull rest

This may be true but let it roll long enough and far enough eventually it hits a place and looses momentum then what. The moss begins to grow, the question is how long that stone stays there covered in moss before an event allows it to gain momentum again. The thunderstorm that brings sweeping rain shifting the stone from its resting place. The wild and wooly winds that bring down a tree branch that swings like a club catapulting the stone back into motion. The  bush walker who ponders and thinks about life while picking up the stone , perhaps to toss it away later on down the track.

And is gathering some moss really all that bad, a time to rest and be covered in lush green warmth, a bit like having a doona day I think!

The mind can be that rolling stone forever in motion never taking the time to stop. As we go through our daily lives we think, analyse, critic, chastise and repeat the mundane over and over again always moving in perpetual motion. Even our dreams have a our mind moving and thinking. And then the speed bump throws a little curve ball that help it come to a rest even if only for a short time. Trouble is some of us are so stuck in the motion of movement and thinking we don’t know how to stop and rest. We miss the sign that tells us to slow down and feel compelled to push through no matter what the cost of our mind, body, soul.

Gathering moss is not a bad thing, and taking time out is not a bad thing. The problem arises when we are the person who wont see the signs, we keep pushing forward. When we dont allow this natually resting state to happen our mind yells ENOUGH and finally stops! Sadly this happens way to often in today’s world. Why? Simply because we don’t allow ourselves to have a break. I have friends who are forced to take vacation time because they accumalted so much of it up at work…. they never stop. I have other friends who do so much for so many that they neglect themselves. Others yet just feel that they can not stop until they reach the end goal to which I ask “is that death? because you aint living right now.”

A friend once worked for a company that allowed 4 doona days a year, and that was on top of the annual sick level entitlement. Yes her job was stressful she dealt with people who could be abrasive; so they company took the step the value the employe and gave them the extra days. Lets face it we all would like a day were we didn’t have  to be a slave to the alarm clock and could just close the world away and lay in bed, or on the lounge and just rest.

So can we actually rest without having to take a whole day, without needing to get to state of forced STOP. rest

Yes we can, we just need to make the time for ourselves. We need to set aside 10 minuets in the day and allow it to be our time, some people now will say I don’t have 10 minutes, yes you do ….. more than likely that 10 minuets is given to some other task right now that does not serve you well. Think about it there is a spare 10 in those 1440 minuets that make up each day.

So what to do during those 10 minuets. REST bring the mind to a place of rest.

Sit in a place that you wont be interrupted. (set a timer if you need to, or pick out soft music that goes for 10 minuets )

Allow you mind to clear of all thoughts, listen to the sound of your breath.

Focus on your breath and then repeat in your mind the words ‘I am’

Dont add anything to these words just the words ‘I am’. As you repeat them over an over you allow the mind to become still.

Once your ten minuets is up allow yourself to be fully awake and in the present moment. Drink some water and get moving again. Your mind is ready for you to keep going forward, its ready for motion once again.

That small 10 minuets each day will allow your mind to become more resilient and resourceful when you need it most. Instead of coming to breaking point your mind will have tools it can now use to help in situation that arise. While a doona day every now and then may still be on the cards, these will days where you enjoy the comfort of your bed and not be retreating to it to hide from the world.

Life is for living and sometime living, means standing still and gathering moss. The moss is the rest and clarity we need to move forward, it’s just we miss the rest stop most of the time and push through.live life

Happiness Depends on …………….

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Happiness depends on ………………………………… (fill in the blank) 0f3123727c24b7982edcb5a75fb824d3

You all know the saying ‘if i had a dollar for every time some one said ….’  well for me I swear I would be rich if i had a dollar for every time someone didn’t fill in the blank with the word ME I hear it time and time again that happiness depends on everything but ME and when I say ‘me’ I truly do mean you there person reading or saying it.

Happiness depends on if I have the right partner ……..

Happiness depends on if I have the right number of children …….

Happiness depends on if I have the right job……………

Happiness depends on if I have the right house…….

Happiness depends on if I have enough money ……..

NO happiness depends on you YOU being Happy with You and that does not extend to any of those items listed above. Happiness is not something you obtain by accumulating external items, it is from within you that happiness comes. If you don’t like something about your life then you need to have a good look at why you feel it defines you. You can have the worst job in the world yet still be happy.  You can have no money yet still be happy. You don’t need a partner to be happy or even children. The right job, the perfect body, the right car …. the list may go on and on and yet these are all things that can be gone in the blink of an eye. And if they vanished or were removed from you what will you base your happiness on then?

To be truly happy learn to be happy from within, learn to love and be grateful for who you. Does it mean that you wont have an unhappy thought……no of course not, but it is just a thought and you have the power to change that. Stop searching for all the external items to fill you life with, images55and start working on fulfilling internally instead.

Be happy because you are you. Then you can say  Happiness depends on ME

Right Place – Right Time

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synchronicity-2How many times have you just been somewhere at the right place at the right time and BAM you just hit jackpot, opportunity showed up and you grabbed it?

How many times have you thought WOW I am lucky, I get to now live the life I want? Be this  in business, personal life or family life,  or even the opportunity for change that you have been seeking, you are lucky right?

So was it luck or was it something much more?

When this happened did you feel the need to be in the place that day, did you go visit someone just feeling like you should, perhaps not knowing why. Did you make a wrong turn that actually turned into the correct turn?  I believe that belief in yourself got you there. You may not have been aware of it, however your heart and your mind knew it and combined they pushed you in the right direction. Synchronicity took over and it all feel together. The doors opened effortless and the opportunity presented itself. Your belief then allowed you to grab hold of it and make something of it.

So how do we get the belief in ourselves so that when it all flows and comes together we don’t miss it out on the opportunity.

  1. Let your dreams be bigger and more powerful than your fears, if your fear is bigger than the dream, the dream will seem out of reach forever.
  2. Stop listening to the negative talk of others, while the advice they give can be heartfelt and genuine sometimes its given so you don’t get hurt…. rather ask for their support without advice.
  3. Have an action plan and be open for it to change, having firm plans is fine but if you are not flexible you may find that the perfect opportunity slipped away because it was not boxed the way you thought it should be.
  4. Own your worth, we have all heard the saying “fake it till you make it” yet there comes a time when faking it no longer works and you need to OWN IT.
  5. Know your trigger points, know what allows fear and doubt to creep in and learn how to deal with it quickly so you can move forward.
  6. Have faith, not just in yourself but faith that you are there for a reason, the people you meet are seeking you out as much as you are seeking them out, opportunities can be symbiotic at times.
  7. Empower yourself, if need be grab a book read, do further studies, take up a hobby, what ever you ensure that it makes you feel great.
  8. Be you, no one else is a better you than you.

You need to take action to make opportunity come your way. When it does it times to stop second guessing and just start believing. Taking opportunity when it comes your ways can inspire others to grab opportunities that head their way… a ripple effect of inspiration allowing people to live the life they dream of. be you

Friends bring Lemonade

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So yesterday I blogged about making lemonade when life gives you lemons. Today I have lemonade! Thanks to some beautiful friends who turned up last night with a gift of lemonade,  a beautiful card that shared amazing words of gratitude, encouragement and inspiration along with an extra surprise that was so unexpected and truly appreciated.20140131_214829

Friends called all day to see how they could help and I am truly humbled by the out pouring of generosity from each of them. Other people let me know how my words along with the way my husband and I were approaching the situation has inspired them to make their own lemonade.

My husband remarked last night how he was touched by the friendship and support that surrounded us. And it got me thinking about the essence of friendship and the impact that we each have on each other. How just a simple act of picking up the phone to ask ‘are you ok?’ can turn ones day around. The act of catching up for coffee… or wine… and sharing stories and laughter lightens the heaviest of loads.

Our friendship are formed in all sorts of ways, through life long knowing, to those we work with, though our children. People who share a common interest, and there are those that cross our path and touch our hearts in the most magical ways. Some friendships come and go, some last a lifetime.

friendship 2I look at my circle of friends and see so many different personalities, so many varying points of view. We come from all walks of life. For some of us we are in daily contact for others we can go months and pick up where we left off like it was yesterday. Each one of us brings to our friendship their knowledge, their understanding and most importantly of all, each one of us is a friend without judgement. For the time we share together is not about judgement it is about fun, laughter, support, enrichment and enjoying life in the company of people who make us smile. These are the people we choose to have around us and share in the living of our lives. I dont beleive there is a one thing that defines a friend …….. its more like a million things.

I look around and I see that people have so many events happening in their lives, some big some small….. Some have been thrown bucket loads of lemons….and what I see most of all is the beauty that each of us is willing to help squeeze those lemons for each other and help make the best lemonade life has to offer us at that time.

So I want to thank my friends you mean the world to me. I want to extend thanks to the people who have contacted me who I don’t know, who have thanked me for helping them with my words. At the end of the day lemonade is a nice drink once you make it, so I raise my glass to you and say CHEERS!cheers

School year begins

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schoolAnd so beings the start of another school year, my boys are growing up fast one in his last year of primary school the other in year 2. Last year was trying school year to say the least, while my children had great teachers they both struggled with social issues. My eldest due to the school yard bully and my youngest due to just being him I guess.

Before leave for school today Master 7 came to realization that this would be the last school year for quite some time that he would be attending the same school as his brother. Next year Master 11 ventures off to High School. Master 7 was starting to panic you could see it in his eyes.

He turned to me and said “who will look after me in the playground, who will stop the bullies?”

I replied “you will be fine and it’s a year away so no need to worry about it.”

Not satisfied he proceeded to explain how his stomach was feeling funny, how it felt like it was jumping inside.

Again I calmed him down “they are just nerves of excitement.”

We managed to get over this; but still like so many parents in Sydney today when dropping my children at school this morning. I did so with fingers and toes crossed that this year would be a great school year.

3pm rolls around and there I am waiting at the gate for them both to tell me about their day. They both walk towards me with smiles on their face… and I breathe a sigh of relief day one down only how many more to go?

Much to Master 11 delight he has the same teacher as last year. The boys in his class are all his friends and his bully from last year is in a different class. Yippee we have a winner here.

Master 7 has his best friend in his class, this may be a good or bad thing but he is happy and that’s what counts. His teacher is nice and she can be quiet firm something he needs so I am happy.

So as we jump in the car to drive home they both then hit me with how the bully from last year is at it again during playtime. Sigh perhaps it was too good to be true, until……………

Master 7 “I played with the bully at playtime.”

Me “what he let you play…. Did he let you play I ask his bother?”bully

Master 11 “no he is up to his same old tricks.”

Master 7 “that’s ok I just told the teacher.”

Master 11 “yes the bully knows that he will be told on each time now.”

Me “So Master 7 he was okay with you playing?”

Master 7 “no but I don’t care he is not in charge and I will tell on him every day.”

I sat in the car getting ready to drive away, I know I should show restrain and just say some nice practical parenting advice to them, but I can’t, and I can not hide how happy I am about this turn of events.

“Hi Five Master 7 you handed it to him!”

I drive away feeling guilty for feeling so happy that the bully was handed it to him by my 7-year-old. Yet at the end of the day I am happy he did it! I very proud of how my 7-year-old who this morning feared being bullied stood up and showed that he was not going to be pushed over by child who thinks they are better than everyone else.

So the year began with everyone happy, well maybe the bully was not too happy but ……….

The year still began with everyone Happy at this house.happy

Don’t wake me before coffee

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There is a promotional ad for a TV show, ‘Through the wormhole’ on TV at the moment and in it a crew member ask Morgan Freeman ‘when does life begin?’ Morgan answers ‘as soon as I have had my morning coffee’.  My children say that’s me….. They say that life doesn’t begin in our house till mum has her morning coffee and they are right.

coffee lifeIt’s a small ritual but one that I cherish every day to be able to sit in silence and enjoy the waking moment of life in our house. I love early mornings, the peace and quiet before the world stirs with its noise and bustle that breaks the silence, pushing us all forward into the hectic pace of life. So I sit each morning, coffee in hand and just take in the stillness, it’s my favourite time of the day.

My ritual morning coffee is my morning meditation, it is my time to zone into the day and what I wish to achieve and most importantly to set the tone of my day. If I am disturbed during that time, the tone may very well change from happy too annoyed; need a second coffee on days like this!

My 7-year-old is usually the first one to come find me each morning, waiting until the coffee is finished of course. He breaks this time of stillness and I am always grateful that he does, because when he does he gives me a huge cuddle and he tells me he loves me …. Then he asks for food, he will be a master manipulator creating great business deals one day I am sure with his smooth tactics.

Then life begins in our house we get through breakfast and move forward in our day, the hectic pace of life once again intrudes as we carry out all we need to do that day. When it gets too hectic and my world feels out of balance, polluted with crazy time schedules, screaming children, unfinished obligations and interruptions; I stop and remember my thoughts of the morning and I bring myself back to centre. In that moment of peace I know that life is short and one needs to cherish each crazy hectic moment of it.

…. And so the day goes on and my morning ritual reminds me to enjoy it no matter what the day brings my way.coffee life