Discombobulated

Yesterday I had two people very close to me in my life use the word Discombobulated. They both used it in correct syntax and both described different turns of events. The first one described the physical discombobulated state of some one lost and confused as to their surroundings. While the second one described the mental state of frustration and confusion as to how they felt due to events unfolding around them.

The urban dictionary defines Discombobulate  as ‘One of those rare and wonderful words that means exactly what it sounds like. There is no word more onomatopoeic to confusion than discombobulate’.

It got me thinking why they chose to use this word rather than simply state confusion as the final outcome to what was happening. It certainly emphasised their position on the subject matter and to be honest made me laugh when it was used more than once that day. Not a word I would imagine many people throw into their daily conversations often.

Then it got me thinking how many people out there feel discombobulated? In everyday life how many people are walking around not knowing how they are feeling. So many people are unable to articulate  their feelings clearly. In some case when they try to explain these feelings they then leave the listener can feel confused. Can one really nail down the exact emotion of the events that have left them feeling discombobulated?

How many people are walking around not knowing which direction they are heading in life, aimlessly following the crowd rather than walking their own path. Just doing what the norm is. Not able to define the direction they want to head in. Then they wake up one day and think how did I get here? How did my life turn out this way? By this time they are so discombobulated that they don’t know how to get onto their path.

How sad to think that many of us at some stage in our life feel totally discombobulated so it got me thinking well what is the  antonym to this discombobulation? I was then feeling discombobulated myself as there are no antonyms. Can we not be the opposite of confused? surely not! Here are a few near antonyms offered by one dictionary : reassure, satisfy, enlighten, inform. Seriously slim pickings there.

However if you want a synonym for this word you have many to choose from :  adrift, addle, baffle, befuddle, bemused, bewilder, confound, confuse, disorient, fuddled, muddle, mystify, perplex, puzzle, vex. The list can go on and on, my personal favourites are bamboozled and flummox.

So now that I have had chance to digest the word discombobulated I plan to try to not use it, without a positive alternative I don’t wish to inject it into my conversations…. yet part of me just loves the word and the way it sounds when used correctly… perhaps the positive is the smile it brought to my face yesterday when used so often.

My final thoughts on discombobulated ….. it’s a fun word that I hope none of you feel or find yourself in that state to often.

 

Challenge the habit

Over the school holidays my eldest son has added the word funny and like to just about every sentence he says, instead of using um…. Err…. and…. he has unconsciously added these words. Sometimes they are in totally context others times they so out-of-place.

Somehow this has now become a habit and without wanting to sound hurtful in correcting him I have simply asked him to define funny and like and how they relate to the sentence and story he is telling me. I have asked him what other worlds he feels may be a better fit at times as well. I don’t want to encourage umm…. err …. and ….so I have also asked that he slow down and think about what message he wants to convey before speaking.

Watching him learn to undo the habit and replace it with a new thought process had me thinking about all the little things we do unconsciously that have become habits, some possible help us get through our day while others do not serve us well at all, some just seem to have crept up on us.

I know I am not alone when I say that Facebook on my phone can be an become an addictive habit, checking when I wake, over lunch, while watching TV before bed. Some of my friends have recently undertaken a challenge to only use Facebook when at their desk computer and have since remove the app from their phone. So I thought it would be FUN to write down all the things that could be achieved by removing Facebook from ones phone.

Family – amazing how much time we spend looking at a phone ignoring those that truly matter.

Awareness – meditate, relax and become aware of you and the real world you live in.

Cooking – imagine being able to enjoy doing this because you have time on your side.

Exercise – no excuses now you have more time and there is energy to burn.

Books – reading it’s amazing what reading a good book can do for the soul.

Organise – where can you make life more efficient for you (mine is my study schedule).

Obliterate – determination now to remove other worthless habits (we all have a few I am sure).

Kip – Imagine being able to fall asleep without a status update in your mind.

My friends are doing a one month challenge with this to see how it changes their lives. What habit can you remove for one month to see how it changes your life? And once its change will you take the habit back up again or gain a new thought process that is for the better?

Change the Scream for Calm

Screaming and yelling and still no result …. The feeling of talking to a brick wall. That’s what most of my friends have been telling me is going on when they talk to their children these school holidays.

Pick up your clothes, don’t hit your sister, pack up this mess, and eat your dinner ….. The list is endless. As parents it can feel that we spend our life or a good majority of it screaming to get things done. And children seem to spend most of their time ignoring this or complaining about it.

So why does it always seem to boil down to a battle of wills. Simple really imagine if your boss screamed at you to get things done how quickly would you tell your boss to take a hike! It would not take long, at the very least you most certainly would be looking for a new job.

So since our children can’t or we hope never tell us to take a hike or look for new parents, perhaps it is in the way we approach the request that needs to change. So here are some simple strategies to try before our children do tell us to take a hike or worst still turn into the screaming teenage/adult from hell!

1. Set some simple chores that are age appropriate and don’t need to be done every day, responsibility is a good thing but keep it balanced.
2. If the room is mess does it really matter that much? If your child is tired you are fighting a losing battle that will only see you get a headache, shut the door and tackle it tomorrow when calm.
3. Stop yelling and screaming, talk to your child the way you want to be spoken to, not only is it more effective you will then raise a child that has respect.
4. Get down and play with them, encourage creative play, have FUN, build a cubby house, and as you help make the mess you get to help tidy the mess.
5. Half an hour before bed make it wind down time, grab a book and read to your child or if your child can read then read the book together.
6. Get outside with your child go for a walk, take them to the park, not only do you get outdoors you get exercise as well.
7. Count to 10 and step outside if the stress is getting to much, fresh air calms down most and a little bit of space can give you the perspective as an adult to know the right course of action to take.
8. Encourage them to make the right choices when being asked to do things, this will help them in later life.
9. Surprise your child with a reward, don’t let them expect it like pocket money, just surprise them with a reward of your choice.

Our child are only our children for a short period of time, before long they are young adults trying to be the best they can in the world. They learn how to do this from you, have fun, enjoy them and most of all love and respect them…… the world will thank you for it.