Monthly Archives: April 2014

A Birthday Message From Above

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Aunty Mo Memorial Garden

Aunty Mo Memorial Garden

My aunty celebrated her 70th Birthday on Saturday, no longer here in the living as her spirit past 10 years ago this year. She was my fathers only sister and while they had not the strongest of relationships as children in later adult life they had formed a great bond. Her daughters have always been inspirational to me. They babysit me as a child and I babysit 2 of their children as a young adult, now we joke that their children will babysit my kids. In the final days before her passing I stayed overnight with her two daughters at the hospital and watched her delicate breath being to seep away from her.  As a medium and someone who has regular conversations with those who have departed it was totally different feeling to sit and wait for a loved one to take their last earthly breath.

I was not there when she passed and yet her sense of pride, honour and don’t mess with attitude was. She was a strong women who knew what she wanted in life and was never afraid to go get it. So it should be no surprise then that in death she still gets what she wants. On her 70th Birthday she did just that.

My father has planted an oak tree on his property for her, he lives over 3 hours from where her ashes are buried and wanted a memorial garden for his sister. Only a week or so prior he had been to theBunnings the local hardware chain store in Bathurst and found a pot which he would turn over and use as an obelisk to place her original burial plaque on it which had been given to him by her eldest daughter the week before hand at her 10th anniversary. The pot cost $80 and was out of reach for my father to just buy then and there.

We arrived at my parents place late Thursday night and my father and I stayed up talking until 2 am in the morning, we had a wonderful time and he showed me the ideas he had for his sister. As he did I felt the connection with his father, my grandfather who had passed when he was just reaching adult hood. His father relayed to me the way the garden was to be done a message I gave to my father.

Good Friday saw the family just relax on the property and not really do much of anything. On Saturday however my husband and I made our way in a town called Orange, my aunt’s eyes where a brown that often to me looked to take on an orange tone, its how I remember her. We drove to the Bunnings in Orange, there we found the pot my father had spoken about however it was shown under a different price, we called a staff member over who informed us that no it was actually $80. We asked if that was the best they could do, even I chipped in asking for a lower price, something I just don’t do.  As the staff member walked away to check on a new price I turned and say that to the left of the pot they were selling ‘Stepping Stones” I said to my husband there’s the sign we will get it cheaper my aunty wants us to. The staff member returned and offered it to us for $50, we took it. We then brought the glue and found a gecko the symbol the whole family has for my aunty.

Proud of our negotiation skills we head back to parents property to gift the items to my father, once we had them all in place we let him know the whole lot came to $70. He took a picture of it and sent it to his two nieces who then informed it was their mum 70th Birthday today. Something my father never remembers, he is lucky to remember his own.

So on her 70th birthday she did was she does best ‘get what she wants’ we drove to Orange the colour reminds me of her eyes. The pot was located to next to stepping Stones. We bargained (something I don’t do) we got the pot the glue and gecko for $70 and her memorial in the garden by the oak tree in complete.

So happy 70th Birthday to a strong, tenacious, brave, vibrant, women. We all love that you are still around. She had the song below played at her funeral and really it sums it up, as a medium I know we never walk alone and this weekend she indeed showed us all that she still walks with us.

May you all know that you never walk alone.

xx

 

I forgive you

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I forgive you

I forgive you

I am writing this while it is still raw so excuse the errrors I may make. I need to do this before I sleep tonight, I need to release this so I will just write and may the words fall the way they are needed for all. I am letting go and sending you love while I do I send the love to your family.

 

I know I was harsh when you came tonight. I had a raw nerve that I thought I had long dealt with. I may have not welcomed you with open arms as you hesitate to speak I am sorry.

You going left a massive wound one that is not easy to repair. A void that people struggle to know how to fill.

That night, that day was and still is vivid in my mind, tonight it all came flooding back and I found the tears stream down my face. You made me cry in front of hundreds of people tonight, not an easy task as you would know.

I know you struggled and the signs we saw, I am sorry I didn’t act on them but I am not sure it would have kept you here anyway.

I find myself now sitting here crying again because you gave back tonight, I am crying because I see your face, your body there. I am crying because I can’t fill the void it left your family and they miss you so much. I am crying because you gave me permission to heal and to let go. I am crying because you had the courage to step on the stage even when I treated you harshly.

Your words of acknowledgement, thanks and love touched my heart. It means a lot to me that you understood and saw what was happening at the time. That first 24hours rocked the worlds of many to the core. I want you to know I was happy to be there to support. To hold her hand and yours. I want you to know she still hates the way I make tea. I am glad you could see the loved that surrounded you even if it was too late for the physical world.

I guess what I need you to know is I forgive you.

Please thank the loved one in spirit who brought you there tonight. I know that my family and two beautiful souls who passed after you orchestrated tonight to allow this healing to take place. I will always hold a place for you in my heart and I will pass your message on to her as soon as dawn breaks.

With all my heart may you now be in peace and until we talk again

Love

Rita

 

A special thanks to Greta and Lisa without you both this would not have happened.

Ticker box syndrome

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do you fit

do you fit

I am not one who likes to follow conventional rules I never have been. I have always found it annoying that I need to certain things so that I can be viewed correctly by societies standards. I call it the ticker box syndrome just my spin on it. You know were you just have to go through the motions and get that boxed ticked so that you fit the picture of what people want so you can move forward in life.

Recently a friend and I had to visit Centerlink for government assistance, she had just lost her job and required help. Her circumstances certainly explained why her job had to go. Yet upon filling out all the questions with the worker at the office you just knew that a computer program was sorting her into a category regardless of her circumstance which were too out of the box for it to deal with. The end result we will help you but ……….. Yes she now has to tick a few more boxes and wont receive the true help she needs. However speaking of her current situation it is clear for the world to see that it is rather unusual and thankful does not happen all the time. Even the lady processing her claim admitted that she would be much better on a different payment but she lack a piece of paper to allow the computer system to tick that box.

Take the person who has so much life experience to offer in certain field of work, they are clearly a person who is truly capable of completing the tasks required but

because they don’t have the degree required they don’t tick the box so no job for them. Class room theory out ways real life experience. We may as well be playing Monopoly where one pulls the jail card ‘go not pass go, go directly to jail, do not collect $200’.

My son has trouble getting the written word down so exams that are written for him are not going to allow him to show his understanding, rather they just cause stress

no passing go for you

no passing go for you

and eventually a melt down. However asking him the question and he can articulate the answer, yet that doesn’t tick the box so no passing go and collecting $200 for him either.

What about the person who nearly makes the marks to gain entry to university to follow their passion but not quite there sorry yet again while it’s your passion the bell curve you score was graded on said NO. But that’s okay we will let the person in who really has no passion for this and is just heading to university because society says that’s what we should do.

And never mind if you have a dream that is not quite what people think you can be achieved. Simply the answer is no, you can’t achieve that until you do this, that and this and then only the lucky can do that. What if you actually can do it and don’t need this and that ? You still have to tick the boxes.

Ticker boxes I don’t like them on forms, and I don’t like fitting the mould that people think one should be. I am me and my situation, passions and experience are uniquely mine. No one else shares them so how to they fit a generic box.

So let’s stop the mentality that we all need to fit a certain way, follow a conventional path to achieve our dreams. I am not asking for anarchy were there are no rules I am asking for common sense we each person is valued for the individuality and all they can offer. Everyone has strengths and weakness why do we not allow people to play their strengths? Let’s be smart about this, a tick box is a way of saying ‘I don’t have to think about it you don’t get a tick so you don’t fit.’  It takes the human brain out of the decision making process. Are we not capable of rational common sense thought, do we not have empathy can allow us to see when a situation needs to be addressed in a different manner.

 

Ban the tick box and celebrate who we are !

Be you

Be you